Sunday, January 25, 2015
There has been a great deal going on in my life since I last posted on my blog. Life has been happening. However, the things I have going on in life now are not easy to face. As a matter of fact, I am faced with something that no one should ever have to face, the loss of a child. My daughter, Amy, was diagnosed with cancer in 2011. She went through treatment for several months and was pronounced cancer free. However, about two years ago it returned with a vengeance.
As I write this I sit by her bedside in a hospice near Houston, Texas. I watch my daughter as she holds on to life as long as she can. I try to understand what I am feeling, but struggle to even describe my thoughts and emotions. When I look at her I wonder what she is feeling. Is she afraid? Does she feel alone even though her family is by her side to show her love and compassion?
I know the end for my daughter is near. She could pass within the next couple of days or it could be any minute. As I consider how short her existence has been on this earth I think of my own mortality. How long will I be on this earth? What have I done to leave my mark upon this world? My daughter does not have any time left to do anything more than what she has already done. But I do. Each and everyone of us who has life left in us still can do good in this world. I owe it not just to my daughter but to myself to use the time I have left to do good in this world.
Life is precious. It should not be squandered. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. That does not mean to go out and party and have all the fun a person can possibly have. It means to live each and every waking moment in a positive manner. To live life in a way that others are affected by your presence that makes them feel uplifted. Be remembered. Be unforgettable. Amy told me a few weeks ago that she is afraid of being forgotten. I told her I would not let that happen while I am alive. I plan on keeping her memory alive. I hope and pray I can do it in a manner that will please her.
I love you Amy!